Today, it’s in my heart to share something personal. I guess it depends what you think is ‘personal’ enough to share on your blog but anything about myself or my family’s well-being is, I guess somewhat personal. My blog is a public space where I share my creative thinking process and what I am most interested and excited about sharing at the moment but it’s also a place for me to share what I have learned through my personal experiences.
Three years ago, my baby boy (youngest) went through a heart catherization procedure due to PDA (Patent Ductus Arteriosus). A PDA is a heart defect that occurs when a blood vessel called the ductus arteriosus fails to close after birth, as it normally should. The ductus arteriosus is an open channel in every fetus that allows blood to bypass the lungs, which are not used until the baby takes its first breath after birth. Shortly after the baby’s first breath, the ductus arteriosus should close permanently. If it does not close, it can cause symptoms such as fatigue, difficult or rapid breathing, failure to grow normally, or chronic respiratory infections.
Tyler was taken in to see his pediatrician at age 3 due to common cold and his doctor heard a heart murmur and recommended that we go to see a Pediatric Cardiologist. We went to see the Cardiologist at children’s hospital in Oakland and did electrocardiogram (EKG) and echocardiogram (ECHO) and that’s where he was diagnosed with PDA. The good news is that this was not a serious heart disease, it a congenital heart defect that can be fixed. It’s more common to find this during their infant stage but in Tyler’s case it was more asymptomatic (without symptoms). We’ve met with his Cardiologist who did the operation on him and he suggest that the PDA to be closed using an implantable AMPLATZER device. This mesh like device (made of nickel and titanium) was inserted using a catheter through his groin and made it up to his heart to close the PDA. This device will stay in his body for the rest of his life. His doctor reassured us that after this procedure, he will have better quality in life, will be able to do sports and grow up like any other kid.
As you can imagine, both my husband I was shocked to hear this news. Our parents and grandparents have told us how we will have many scared moments raising children but I don’t think we were prepared for anything like this or even remotely close. I was extremely sad and upset at myself. I am not sure why. I think I was upset that we weren’t able to catch this earlier even though Tyler showed enough clues. He didn’t like running. He never ran after his brother. He didn’t want to play at the bouncy houses when all other kids were having a great time at the birthday party. We just thought he was quiet and gentle boy. He would run out of breath easily and would stop himself from playing or running around. I guess I didn’t have anyone else to blame other than myself. I just expected his pediatrician to tell me everything was looking good and everything was OK as long as he has all his immunization shots up-to-date. It didn’t really bother me that his pediatrician never really took time to listen carefully to his heart and talk to us about any concerns. I basically hated myself for letting that one go until he was almost 4.
As you can imagine, both my husband I was shocked to hear this news. Our parents and grandparents have told us how we will have many scared moments raising children but I don’t think we were prepared for anything like this or even remotely close. I was extremely sad and upset at myself. I am not sure why. I think I was upset that we weren’t able to catch this earlier even though Tyler showed enough clues. He didn’t like running. He never ran after his brother. He didn’t want to play at the bouncy houses when all other kids were having a great time at the birthday party. We just thought he was quiet and gentle boy. He would run out of breath easily and would stop himself from playing or running around. I guess I didn’t have anyone else to blame other than myself. I just expected his pediatrician to tell me everything was looking good and everything was OK as long as he has all his immunization shots up-to-date. It didn’t really bother me that his pediatrician never really took time to listen carefully to his heart and talk to us about any concerns. I basically hated myself for letting that one go until he was almost 4.
Tyler did great through the entire PDA heart cath procedure. I’m sure he didn’t really understand what was going on but I did have to prep him for the hospital visit since we were scheduled to spend the night there. I told him ”Doctor found a small hole in your heart and he wants to fix it. He’s going to fix it while you’re taking a nap”. We checked into the hospital early in the morning (at 7am) to take care of all the paperwork and in prep for the procedure. My younger sister is a Pediatric Anesthesiologist so she kept us company through all morning. It really helped to have someone familiar with the process to be there. The procedure lasted almost 2 hours but I think the hardest part was waiting for it to be over and thinking that my baby was in the OR alone. I kept repeating this verse in my head over and over again. “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” (Isaiah 26:3). It was basically only thing that kept me together and not fall apart.
Tyler just celebrated his 7th birthday. It’s been three years since he had his surgery. He still needs to go back to Cardiologist every two years to get his ECHO scan done. Since this procedure is not any older 15 years, they are keeping a follow up record of all the patients that went through it. He is very active now. He likes playing soccer and currently taking swimming lessons. He still doesn’t seem to really like bouncy houses but I don’t think that has much to do it his PDA. I, myself don’t really like bouncy houses! He has such a great heart and compassion. He was actually born with bigger heart than anyone else. : )
I’ve been thinking a lot about praying for generations. My grandma and great grandma were both women of great faith. I heard they prayed not only for their own children but their children’s children. Can you believe that? I truly believe that we are counting our blessing daily through their prayers. I try to take time to pray for my children, their health and well-being but never thought about praying for the future generations. We are so thankful that this wasn’t any serious heart disease or illness. We are grateful that we caught it early enough before any complications can arise in his adult life. We are thankful that he is growing up to be healthy and happy boy. Life is full of surprises and most of the time it does throw a hard curve ball at you when you are least prepared. I try my best to provide care and nurture my children but neglect to pray for their protection and well-being. I keep telling myself that it’s never too late to start something.
Thanks for letting me share my experiences and thoughts today.
With Much Love,
Selina